What It Feels Like Giving Birth To A Gay

David was like any other kid- fun, loving, social and a little more than annoying but his mum loved him. She remembers the first time he kicked whilst he was in her tummy as she lay in bed alone while her husband was working. That kick was the only comfort she had that night. She remembered the first time he smiled, the first time he fell and the exact time that he told her he was gay.

David’s mum couldn’t believe it… after all she had done for him;  the day-to-day demands of caregiving, holding his hand and watching him sleep the nights he was sick, the ups and downs of those adolescent years. She showed him nothing by constant flow of love and support. How could he do this to her and hurt her like this? How could he hurt the family and how could he hurt God?

While the bright lights and thundering DJ of the Sydney’s Mardi Gras party begins, I thought it would be important to talk about people like David and their plight to be loved again by the womb that bore them.

Firstly, why do the ‘gays’ have to parade around in next to nothing (if we are lucky) and have a whole day dedicated to them? You don’t see straight people walk around and say ‘Hey look at me’, heterosexuals don’t have a whole day let a long a whole month dedicated to them? I guess heterosexuals have never been questioned about why they sleep with the opposite sex, forced to hide and be ashamed about it and never been labelled as having a mental illness by the world.

Eeeep! I know you are uncomfortable so let’s get even more uncomfortable and talk about how the Mardi Gras event first originated. The first march took place on Saturday 24 June 1978 at 10pm and it was met with unexpected police violence.  At around that time there was a lot of opposition for LGBTQI support in New York and California as well as Australia. During this march police swooped arrested and violently beat 53 men and women. Over the months that followed more protests and arrests took place and the actions of the police came to be seen as heavy handed. The first Mardi Gras was basically a pinnacle point in gay civil rights. So although it’s fun to party and take your shirt off sometimes, Mardi Gras has a deeper meaning for many and so it is worth celebrating.  Plus do you know how much money it pumps into Sydney economy??? Come on all you commerce people you need to love that a little!

So recently I sat down on my couch with a bowel of tasty coconut yoghurt and some berries (shout out to KUBU coconut yogurt. You allow me to have a tasty treat that tastes like panna cotta without the dairy) when I noticed a show about people wanting to get married blah blah. Needless to say I was hypnotised by my dessert and once you get to know me you realise that food and I is somewhat of a delicious ceremony. You might as well put a ‘do not disturb’ sign on my forehead whilst I eat.

Anyways the next day the show was plastered all over the face (Facebook) and I finally took the time to read the kefuffle. Gay boy gets rejected by his mum because of his sexuality and when he finally gets the courage to ask her to come to his wedding, she says no.

That must be difficult, not just for the son but also for the mother. I encounter many different personalities and sometimes I find myself wondering why do we do the things we do? Why would a mother create a hole in a child’s heart? I don’t know the answer but I’m pretty sure the parent thinks they aren’t doing anything wrong, right?

I can’t imagine what it would be like to have a child, let alone nurture it, protect it and watch it grow in the image of you. Then one day cast it down, belittle it, attack it and then disown the child.

I have a puppy his name is Teddy, and when he bites my ankles yeah I get a bit angry but as soon as he falls or is hungry I run to his aid and do anything to make him happy and healthy. I know Teddy is not human but he is the closest thing to a child that I can imagine.

So for David to get to the stage where he has boldy confronted his fear of being rejected and build the courage to ask his mother for love again, it would have been an epic journey. I can only imagine what it would’ve been like for David growing up in a religious family where his uncles would throw the term ‘poofta’ around. Where the very church that he was baptised in and raised thinks he is an abomination and that Satan himself would not touch him.

How do you raise a gay? How do you raise a gay where society and the church want nothing to do with you? It wasn’t until 1986 where homosexuality was removed as a mental illness from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).

Waw 1986! If you are reading this, chances are you were born around this time. Spare a thought for the closest gays of those times. I’m only talking about western society forget about the areas in the world today where all people are persecuted let along gays.

As I get older I fall far and far away from religion and the institution that it has become. I was taught to fear God and that if I didn’t pray I would not be welcomed into heaven. Now don’t get me wrong, I have faith and my faith is strong because I believe we all have a purpose. Sometimes that purpose is not clear but you need to search and find that purpose. It’s almost like creating a fire. You don’t just start with a fire you gather dry wood and a starter. Then you slowly create friction to get a spark and once you do you nurture that spark until it becomes a flame. Then you nurture it some more and it grows into this amazing ball of fire.

So in the words of Jesus Christ according to the book of Luke:

Do to others as you would have them do to you’. 

That my friend is the end of the chapter.

References: www.mardigras.org.au/history